{"id":60,"date":"2018-03-12T20:49:14","date_gmt":"2018-03-12T17:49:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.absolutelyrealtruefacts.com\/?p=60"},"modified":"2018-07-22T17:20:30","modified_gmt":"2018-07-22T14:20:30","slug":"problem-of-guns-in-us-schools-to-be-solved-by-arming-everyone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/absolutelyrealtruefacts.com\/index.php\/2018\/03\/12\/problem-of-guns-in-us-schools-to-be-solved-by-arming-everyone\/","title":{"rendered":"Problem Of Guns In US Schools To Be Solved By Arming Everyone"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Washington, March 2018<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-61\" src=\"https:\/\/www.absolutelyrealtruefacts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/pistol.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"318\" srcset=\"https:\/\/absolutelyrealtruefacts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/pistol.jpg 400w, https:\/\/absolutelyrealtruefacts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/pistol-300x239.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>New laws will require all students and teachers\u00a0 at state-run schools to be armed. &#8220;It&#8217;s clear to us&#8221;, said some moron congressman, &#8220;&#8230;that the only way to stop a madman with a gun &#8211; is to ensure that anyone with functional arms who is with 250 feet of a state-run school &#8211; is brandishing enough firepower to fell a rhino.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Students who turn up to school without a suitable firearm will be forced to go and get one out of the lost property bin, and then taunted horribly by their classmates.<\/p>\n<p>No rhino was available for comment.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Washington, March 2018 New laws will require all students and teachers\u00a0 at state-run schools to be armed. &#8220;It&#8217;s clear to us&#8221;, said some moron congressman, &#8220;&#8230;that the only way to stop a madman with a gun &#8211; is to ensure that anyone with functional arms who is with 250 feet of a state-run school &#8211; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[18,19],"class_list":["post-60","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-education","tag-guns","tag-rhinocerous"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/absolutelyrealtruefacts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/absolutelyrealtruefacts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/absolutelyrealtruefacts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/absolutelyrealtruefacts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/absolutelyrealtruefacts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=60"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/absolutelyrealtruefacts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":62,"href":"https:\/\/absolutelyrealtruefacts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60\/revisions\/62"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/absolutelyrealtruefacts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=60"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/absolutelyrealtruefacts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=60"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/absolutelyrealtruefacts.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=60"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}