Absolutely Real True Facts

Iowa, US Five scientists are concentrating closely on a chicken, hoping that it will do something of interest. One scientist thought he saw the chicken do something an hour-or-so ago, but the other scientists did not see that thing happen. Scorn has been poured upon the mistaken scientist, and gravy may be poured on the […]

Nevada, US Recent research has shown that up to 3 in 6 statistics have been pulled out of a junior researchers ass after a long weekend on the booze. It’s estimated that there is little more than a 1d20 chance of this changing any time soon.

Dallas, US What began as just a simple visit by Mr Edward Tard to his nephew in Boulder, Colorado turned into a drama of Doolittle proportions after his emotional support seal was prevented from bringing her emotional support penguin onto the aircraft. “She get’s very upset without her penguin”, said Mr Tard, while waving a […]

Washington, March 2018 Leader of the Illiterati, Donald Trump, has announced that armed bears are to be stationed in 92% of US schools in an attempt to reduce the number of mass shootings. “These will be big bears. Strong American bears. Nobody builds bears better than me” said Trump, when asked by a journalist about […]

Accordion to a recent university study, 93% of readers won’t notice if a word in a sentence has been replaced with a random musical instrument.

Liverpool UK, January, 2018 A generic scientist has put a bit of blue liquid in a test tube, then dipped a pipette in it, and is currently staring at the drop hanging from the end of the pipette. We anticipate results quite different to those recorded previously by a generic scientist who put a bit […]

Donald Trump has unilaterally decided to reduce the human gestationary period to 6 months in order that woman can ‘stop evading their workforce responsibilities’ and rejoin the group of tax-paying Americans whose contributions are desperately needed to shore up the finances of the poor down-trodden 1% By reducing the time to create a new life […]

President Donald Trump tweeted on Tuesday morning about a new poll from Rasmussen, a polling company he often donates large sums of money to, that found approval over his job performance to be 79% from the US public. Trump also used the occasion to attack the dishonest media and the majority of polling institutions and […]

Jaipur, January 2018 : A leading university scientist has been swearing through her teeth at some fuckwit with a camera this week after being forced to mock up some kind of bullshit diagram when she had loads more important things to do. “I have better things to do than this crap”, she told our reporter […]

New York, January 2018 : A generic scientist has debunked 68% of global warming theories by dripping a dangerous red liquid into a shallow bowl at eye-level.