Absolutely Real True Facts

Wyoming, October “Quite frankly this is disgusting”, claimed Senator F J Lewis when offered a plate of vegetables. “It would be like eating members of my own family.” “My family have been vegetables for the last 4 generations”, announced Senator Lewis, while simultaneously signing a fracking agreement, ignoring climate change, and denying the holocaust, “…and […]

Prehistory, Tuesday Cavemen are concerned about the effect that single-use rocks will have on their environment. “These rocks we’ve fashioned into cutting implements with sharp edges are just left laying around and will harm the environment for years to come.” – said Ug. (or at least we think that’s what he might have said – […]

Iowa, US Five scientists are concentrating closely on a chicken, hoping that it will do something of interest. One scientist thought he saw the chicken do something an hour-or-so ago, but the other scientists did not see that thing happen. Scorn has been poured upon the mistaken scientist, and gravy may be poured on the […]

Nevada, US Recent research has shown that up to 3 in 6 statistics have been pulled out of a junior researchers ass after a long weekend on the booze. It’s estimated that there is little more than a 1d20 chance of this changing any time soon.

Liverpool UK, January, 2018 A generic scientist has put a bit of blue liquid in a test tube, then dipped a pipette in it, and is currently staring at the drop hanging from the end of the pipette. We anticipate results quite different to those recorded previously by a generic scientist who put a bit […]

Jaipur, January 2018 : A leading university scientist has been swearing through her teeth at some fuckwit with a camera this week after being forced to mock up some kind of bullshit diagram when she had loads more important things to do. “I have better things to do than this crap”, she told our reporter […]

New York, January 2018 : A generic scientist has debunked 68% of global warming theories by dripping a dangerous red liquid into a shallow bowl at eye-level.